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Does playing in a church band also require saying, "Yes"?
If you say no, then you are at the risk of playing someone else's garage band drums. I always took the road of using my kit, even knowing others would be playing it.
Cliff, I have played hundreds of churches. Thicker heads are almost mandatory in 95 percent of them. Mainly for control.
In most, the first row of the audience is most likely less than a few feet away from you. Also, the general design of most churches are one giant echo chamber.
The bigger and more packed churches do a lot for absorbing sound.
A lot of churches that I didn't need to bring my kit, provided an electronic kit. Most churches are scared to death of acoustic drums. Because too often a 17 year old who knows nothing about working the sound of a drum kit is behind them.